Out of my Mind With Grief

My head feels lost,
My body weak,
I want to grab normal,
But it slips through my fingers,
And I know,
I’m not there,
I’m in that other place,
Out of the flow,
Not in sync with the rest,
Bobbing along,
In a stream of pain,
That can’t be glued back together
With words,
Or thoughts,
Or even prayers,
Because the pieces,
Are not meant to be,
A picture any more,
And that throws my mind,
To another plain,
Don’t bring me back,
I don’t want normal,
I want to be forever outside,
Forever hanging onto,
What was,
What cannot be,
Except within my heart.