Friday Fictioneers at Rochellewisoff.com
Photo prompt for 100 word story:
Once the monster clenched his thoughts between its teeth, he was lost.
This time lost to the voice through the phone.
Her words, like scratches on a blackboard,
sent blood racing on a marathon to bust right out of his heart.
Paralyzing rage chased down his throat,
choking oxygen from his lungs, robbing him of speech.
Without mercy she pushed all his buttons,
pressed until the seams of his personhood split,
The monster would unleash havoc, wrecking more of his life.
He touched the photo, remembered his little girl saying,
“Monsters aren’t allowed at the library.”
He hung up.
I was reminded of The Hulk and how he represents two people inside of one body. I like how you showed him choosing the side that refuses to engage in chaos. He really loves his little girl. I hope the mother doesn’t use her as a chess piece.
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We all need that little voice, internal or external, to remind us to keep ourselves in check at times.
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I have a hunch that the monster got him into the situation he is in right now in the first place. Maybe his first step towards defeating it is listening to his little girl. Excellent writing.
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Love the writing. So glad he listened to the words his daughter spoke. Very wise.
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Thanks Brenda!
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It seems as though he is prey to many monsters, or one monster with many ways to get at him. I can feel his struggle to regain control of his emotions, and I like that he recalls the words of a child to calm him down.
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Thanks Margaret!
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Dear CGraith,
Not sure who the monster is but it’s always best not to listen to those types.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Though the voice calling is tormenting him, he does recall his little girl’s words. Really vivid writing.
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Thanks, a little reminder of those we love can do wonders for self control.
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I can see a horror movie in the making. I am anger management might help, it sounds like a family break up the needs help.
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I don’t typically write horror as popular as it is,but you’ve got my wheels turning on that comment! Thanks James!
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I am not sure what happened here! I said—-‘ I am sure some anger management might help, ….’
Sorry about the stumbling previous comment.
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I understand shorthand, your intended meaning was clear. No worries!
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I am so glad for him that he doesn’t allow the monster to consume him. Such power in being able to hang up.
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Thanks Dale!
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Intense drama internalized here. Well done.
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Thanks Bill, that was what I was going for.
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Powerful story. I like the resolution, that memory of an innocent child helping him make the right choice.
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Thanks!
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He needs to listen to more of his little girl’s wisdom to keep those monsters at bay….
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Indeed!
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I liked the idea of the monster chomping down on his thoughts
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Thanks Neil. I find that’s the way an intense emotion feels.
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