“Kill Words” 72K words / Draft progression of Beginning
Below is the progression of drafts for the beginning of my NaNoWriMo novel. I had a major edit this week thanks to the “Scribes” writer’s group who in subtle and direct ways gave me priceless feedback. Slashed 5-6 thousand words but came back up to 72K after all was said and done. Leave a comment, tell me what you think of the beginning. If you’d like to be a beta reader, leave a comment. As a reminder this is what this novel is about:
The title is “Kill Words”; genre – New Adult which means characters are in their mid-twenties just starting out in life. Maisey launches an anonymous blog as an outlet to express herself without the constraints of family expectations. She connects with another blogger, Tyler and is quickly mixed up with him in a blog cyber crime ring. Her life spins out of control until all the false pretenses she rested on are stripped away and she finds her true self.
CURRENT (final?) revision Beginning:
Lying on my bed, staring up at the swirly pattern on the ceiling of my childhood room, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a blog. I need a place where I can be me, not the me that everyone thinks I am. The me I know I am. I’ll be called Maeve. That’s a good, solid sounding name. Better than Maisey. Not that Maisey is a bad name, it’s just that it’s grandma Gertie’s middle name and Grandma Gertie was incredible. Widowed with ten kids at thirty, she built a business making children’s cloths. What am I building? Not even immunity, I catch a cold every other month chasing after kids as a teacher’s aide.
This kind of thinking is what happens on fall break. Give me some time and I see my life for what it is. I see clearly, I’ve bought into the lie that working hard, getting a degree with high honors means I’m destined for success. My mother was a five-time winner of the Midwest teacher of the Year award. Yet what kind of job do I land? One that does not even require a college degree; ‘preferred but not required’ to be exact.
A blog will not solve all my problems, but it won’t add to them.
SECOND revision Beginning:
I’m named after my grandmother, Gertrude Maisey Warner. But I don’t have her first name, I’m called Maisey. The truth is even when I was born my parents could tell I would not fill Grandma Gerty’s shoes. She married at eighteen, lost her husband at thirty and raised ten kids by sewing children’s clothes, eventually creating her own brand. Each of her children grew up with the same penchant for success. My uncle Bill is a neurosurgeon and pioneered a technique for treating a rare brain tumor. Uncle Jack is dean of mathematics at the university. Aunt Becca is co-founder of a medical device company. My own mother not only won ‘teacher of the year’ five years in a row for the Midwest region, but she started a non-profit to combat illiteracy in the inner city. Now it was the next generation’s turn to carry on the legacy unless I break the trend.
ORIGINAL First Draft Beginning:
I’m named after my grandmother Gertrude Maisey Warner, the revered matriarch of the family. They called her Gerty, but I’m called Maisey. I guess my parents could tell even then that I would not be able to fill her shoes. She married at eighteen and had ten kids all of them growing up to be upstanding citizens. My uncle Bill is a neurosurgeon, uncle Jack head of mathematics at the university, my aunt Becca a CEO of a medical device company. My own mother not only won ‘teacher of the year’ five years in a row for the Midwest region, but she started a non-profit to combat illiteracy in the inner-city.